Baker's Dozin'
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.
NONSENSE
VERSE		 BUMBLE so
YOU can THINK		 JEN
BEN		 LEYLOP BLOGSPROGS HALLEY
SUITT
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GOK HTML-Kit
by CHAMI
JENEANE
SESSUMS		 Tag theft by
MANDARIN		 MINDDUMP NEUROTIC
OASIS		 BITTER SHACK
of RESENTMENT		 ELAINE
of KALILILY		 SWEET'n'SOUR
 ARCHIVES Bloggered by design
No comments. If you want to say something, mail me - malcolm(at)baker(dot)it - and I'll put it in.


Friday, January 31, 2003

Not much snow immobilises UK. If it weren't so ridiculous it would be funny. We had the same snowfall ten days ago. This lot was forecast as long ago as last weekend. Less than two hours after the snow started falling yesterday afternoon there were huge traffic jams. Some of these jams lasted through the night and into this morning. The squawking started almost as soon as the jams, from Radio, TV, phone-in participants and then newspapers. This morning Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition blamed Her Majesty's Government for the lack of preparedness. Her Majesty's Government responded by demanding why Local Government(especially that part that was aligned with Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition) hadn't prevented the problem. For once the politicians are not at fault by and large. A lot of roads were gritted. Some blamed the weather but there wasn't enough snow to make a decent snowman. Some even accused the emergency services. Nobody seemed to be pointing at the real culprits.



I am driving a motor vehicle that weighs anything from 1 to 40 tons.
Who is in charge of and responsible for the vehicle?



I have been warned every day for five days that it is going to snow today and that the roads will be icy. I know that ten days ago the same conditions prevailed and there was chaos on the roads. It starts snowing heavily, visibility is poor, the temperature drops enough for there to be ice and there is no evidence of grit and salt on the road. I drive too fast and lose control. I can't see a problem until too late. I brake sharply. I accelerate sharply. I turn suddenly. I follow the car in front too closely. I run out of fuel.
I am delayed in traffic, keep the engine running for warmth and run out of fuel. I have never taken the opportunity to learn to drive under icy conditions. Who is responsible for blocking the road?
Who is in charge of and responsible for the vehicle?



The politicians? The weather? The police? Al Qaeda? Saddam? Did anybody check those 12,000 pages for evidence of research and development of Rain Dances?


posted by Malcolm at 5:23 PM


Thursday, January 30, 2003
Top Secret Fridge Project. This picture was smuggled out of the secure workshop by double-O 3½ who states that in his opinion the fridge does not pose a credible threat to global warming due to the lack of a functional light bulb.









CONTENTS

LIST-

NEED

TO

KNOW

BASIS

ONLY






The fridge was fully loaded with Amstel and showed signs of recent testing. A tag on the back of the machine indicated that it had been produced to a design apparently originating behind the bamboo curtain.
posted by Malcolm at 8:39 PM


End of the world postponed (cancellation unlikely due to GW etc).London is getting back to normal. Last Saturday some bits fell off a Central Line Tube train and it fell off the track. Monday was the hottest January day in decades and 2 Londoners exchanged civil greetings. Tuesday the temperature dropped and the Fire Brigade started a 48 hour strike. Wednesday the temperature dropped some more, the wind picked up to gusts of 40-50 mph and was sharp enough to cut your fingernails with. Today it is snowing and it has been announced that the entire Central Line will remain out of action 'for at least 2 weeks'. Situation normal. Londoners one and all can heave a collective sigh of relief and snarl at one another safe in the knowledge that nobody will take offence. Sunny dispositions are definitely over-rated and virtual guided tours of warmer climes just reinforce the conviction that London is a wonderful place to live.
posted by Malcolm at 8:20 PM


Wednesday, January 29, 2003
Toys for the Boys. I want one of these
and the time to shoehorn it into something small but perfectly formed.There
should be a premium rate phone number for auto-erotic fantasisers like me.
posted by Malcolm at 5:19 PM


Gratuitous Apportioning of Blame. A casual link to Nonsense Verse in a technical news-mail is causing me more self-inflicted grief than I expected. I had known of web logs for several years but had parcelled them with chat-rooms, horoscopes and daytime TV. I am now of the opinion that they should carry a Government Health Warning. Following links was so easy, the reading was stimulating and commenting was usually fun, like
the first boozeup with school mates. I was hooked. A slippery slope indeed. I have also been mercilessly bulldozed by that blogging Juggernaut called Jeneane and cruelly bullied by the Virago at Farrago. They were actively aided and abetted by the likes of
Shelley, Yoga
and JenBen. Passive participants in the conspiracy, but no less guilty just because their posts were interesting entertaining, were Dervala, HREF="http://www.kalilily.net/">Elaine, Blog Sisters, Blog Sprogs, Brooke, Halley, Letters and others. I am hooked on commenting I admit it. Next comes the hard stuff. A blog requires a depth of thought, application and self discipline that I have never wanted nor exercised before in my life. I ignore my own doubts about finding something worthwhile and being able to express it. I am certain I have never had an original thought in my life and that hasn't ever stopped me. Writing essays at school was always traumatic but I am comforted by the thought that I can stop blogging any time I want to. But addicts always say that don't they? A long slippery slope, I just hope I make it to the bottom. At least I can't be held responsible for this blog, good, bad or indifferent. You know who you are and it's all your fault.
posted by Malcolm at 5:18 PM


Tuesday, January 28, 2003
This as well from Nonsense Verse.
posted by Malcolm at 8:55 PM


The unthinkable. There are some subjects
I am uncomfortable thinking about and don't have the words to comment adequately.
Posts like this are harrowing to read but events like this are wrong and
must be guarded against. Knowing and admitting that they exist is a tiny
step forward.

Thanks for the link Jeneane,
Richard
et al.


posted by Malcolm at 6:12 PM


Monday, January 27, 2003
How convincing/enient is this?

"Haloscan
Signups closed temporarily
With the daily signups numbering in the hundreds and the support requests that come with the new registrations, it would be tougher to implement the changes and additions we have planned without compromising the overall quality of service. Therefore, in the best interests of existing and future members, we have decided to close signups temporarily till we roll out the planned changes and additions.
Update: Please do not email us to ask if we can register you or when signups will be open. When signups are reopened, we will post a message here. Thanks for your patience.
12/15/2002"
posted by Malcolm at 11:58 PM


Repent the End of the World must be Nigh. Global Warming has arrived. It's a truly glorious day outside. Glorious not because the sun is shining in a virtually cloudless sky today and you don't need thermal underwear but because yesterday it wasn't and you did. This sudden massive change has completely demented what little wildlife there is in this part of town. All the usual stuff, birds singing like it's going out of fashion and gathering nesting materials, squirrels scampering all over the place and plants looking as though they intend to grow healthily. However the manifestation that indicated the unusual magnitude of the day's glory was the middle aged gentleman who offered a cheery "Good morning" as he passed. We were on a tarmac path through Wimbledon Park and there wasn't anyone else within a hundred yards. He was respectably dressed, not drunk or obviously mentally deranged. Didn't he know this was London? It was the first time in many years that I have received an unprompted greeting in this city. The shock was so great that I actually responded " 'Morning" and hurried home to recover.
Salvation is at hand. The weather forecast predicts snow conditions in two days time. London can revert to its normal surly self and I can become unrepentant once more.

posted by Malcolm at 4:21 PM


Apologies before Nagging.
I agree. It is definitely impolite to blog without a comment facility and still comment elsewhere. My only reason is that I am genuinely on the steepest learning curve I have forced myself onto for a long time. My excuse is that some vindictive people painted me into a corner and left my fingerprints on the brush.
posted by Malcolm at 4:15 PM


Sunday, January 26, 2003
Off to a gig to see Los Pacaminos and Chip Taylor & Carrie Rodrigues. Comment facility has gotta wait. (Should be able to string this out for some time.)
posted by Malcolm at 6:17 PM


It's started already. "When are you going to start a blog" Nag nag nag. First Farrago now Jeneane. I should have kept my big mouth shut.
posted by Malcolm at 11:35 AM